Celebrate Every Day: How I Handle Grief
Happy birthday, Daddy
Celebrate every day. It’s been my mantra since my Dad passed away in June 2023. It’s how I handle grief - being mindful of every day and trying to cherish every second with the people I love.
This past Saturday was my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 66.
It’s the first birthday he’s missed since I’ve been alive.
I made a short video about it to share my grief and hopefully help anyone else going through a similar period in life.
This TikTok commenter said it best: “It doesn’t get easier, but your coping skills get better.”
Other people on YouTube gave sage advice:
“Always remember you are half of him and he may not see you get older but he's part of you. Stay close to the ones you love and make him proud.”
And reminded me of gratitude:
“Be grateful for the memories you were fortunate enough to make with him. My dad passed at 48, I was only 21 at the time.”
This last one hit me the hardest. It’s easy to lose sight of gratitude through our grief and pain.
How fortunate we were to know the person who passed. How blessed we were to have them in our life, even if it was a short time.
In my case, I had 35 1/2 years of my Dad. It's longer than some.
He taught me so many things, led by example, and instilled a passion and drive in me that still pushes me today.
Gratitude can help us through grief.
Recognizing what we learned and enjoyed from those we lost can get us through life’s darkest times.
Also, recognizing that we’re feeling sad and accepting that suffering head-on are the best ways to cope, in my experience at least.
My mom likes to quote Queen Elizabeth II in these moments. Here’s an excerpt of what she said while paying tribute to the victims of the September 11th attacks at the World Trade Center.
"Nothing that can be said can begin to take away the anguish and the pain of these moments. Grief is the price we pay for love."
We only feel grief because we’ve enjoyed love. Nothing in this world is without cost.
Recognizing these realities has helped me not only grieve my Dad, but celebrate him too. He certainly wouldn’t want us to wallow in sorrow.
He would want us to get out there and enjoy life. Cherish the time we have left. Work hard to realize our dreams.
One of his favorite things to ask interviewees when deciding whether to hire them was the following:
“What motivates you?”
The specifics of the answer never really mattered as much as the sentiment the answer conveyed.
Were they willing to make the most of an opportunity? Were they willing to go the extra mile? Were they the type of person who strived for perfection?
I once asked him how he would answer his own question.
He said, “I am motivated by making whatever I encounter better than how I found it.”
Although he said this in the work context, it applies to all facets of life too.
Dad, you made our family better than how you found it, and for that, I am forever grateful.
For more of my writing and content, follow me here:
Website: https://polispandit.com
Medium: https://medium.com/@johnny-p